Yellowstone aka Water World

I'm posting early today for two reasons.  One, I work until 10:45 tonight and just won't feel like talking to any of you, no matter how nice you are, and two, it's RAINING AGAIN! 

Planning a trip to Yellowstone Park?  Don't even think about coming here until July.

Here are the Yellowstone employees making their way to work.

O.K., I didn't take this picture.  I snagged it from the internet.

But it really does look like this.  I'm just not standing out there in the rain waiting for people on bicycles to go by.  Forgive me.

Here's the big news for today. 

I'm about 5 minutes from being famous.  Actually, I'm not going to be famous at all, but I had a brush with it.  Before I left on this adventure, I sent my story to "The Story with Dick Gordon" at NPR.  I love National Public Radio.  I want to write for them, hang out with them, make them all my best friends.

This is Dick Gordon.

Everyone at NPR is handsome/beautiful, intelligent, successful....guess that's why I'm not working there.

I only have 2 out of 3 of the qualifications. 

Anywho....the producer of the show, Christina Smith, called me to see if my story would be of any interest.

I know I won't have a chance if she discovers my fascination with bison poo.

There's no place on NPR for bison poo stories unless it has something to do with saving the environment.

Sorry, got side tracked a little.

But she called and we talked and bonded, at least on my side of the phone, and ......I don't have a chance in Hell of getting on that show.

I checked out their latest stories.  Here's my competition.

A 94 year old woman is running for the U.S. Senate.  When she was 90, she walked across the country to lobby for finance reform.  I walked two hours one day?  Does that count? 

The National Youth Orchestra of Jamaica is for at-risk youth and currently holds rehearsals in the danger zone.  I've walked in the woods where there might be bears and I whistled a little tune.  I could also be considered an at-risk senior citizen.  I could go bonkers anytime.

See what I mean?  I'm a 61 one year old social worker, working the front desk at the Old Faithful Inn who wants to smother her roommate in the night.  Touching, moving, life changing....?  I think not.

I couldn't come up with any epiphany to make the experience more memorable.  I didn't have a vision or hear voices telling me what my true mission in life might be.  I got nada, zilch, crapola. 

I'll let you all know when I get rejected.  At least I have talked to someone from NPR which really doesn't make me feel any better, but let a smile be your umbrella in soggy Yellowstone Park.

Now about that contest I'm having.  Two people.  TWO PEOPLE have responded.  I have no problem dividing the poo and the bookmark between them, but doesn't anyone else want a chance to win these valuable prizes?  Don't even worry about explaining why you want the poo ornament.  Just post a comment saying you want the damn thing. 

Gotta slosh to lunch, so Judy here in Yellowstone Park aka Water World, signing off.

Yellowstone Quarter Day

I got nuthin' again today, friends.  Yellowstone Park is not cooperating with my schedule. 

But wait!

I found a pile of bison poo with a pen stuck in it.

Someone who thinks like me must have passed by.

And we  will never meet.

Sigh.

It continues to rain and I continue to work.

Because of the rain, the Yellowstone quarter ceremony was held in the employee recreation building, and I missed it all.

But I didn't miss the honor of telling 4,352 people where the ceremony was being held.

Bleah!

Those greedy, eBay fanatics, future Hoarders stars, swarmed all over the place and lugged baskets of the quarters home with them.

I could care less than less, but my friend Ken entrusted me with $10 to get him some quarters and the hubby wanted a roll and bleah again.

Rumor has it that employees can buy some tomorrow, but I work at 6:15 a.m.  I will give it the good old Yellowstone try.

Made a disturbing discovery today. 

If you are a woman over 50, you might want to skip this part.

Young people can't tell us apart. 

Really.  Cross my heart bra, really.

I work with Rose at the front desk of the Old Faithful Inn.  She's petite, perky, blond, cute, and has a killer Tennessee twang.  I am NOT petite, NOT perky, NOT blond and definitely don't have a southern accent. 

I left out cute.  I'm not that either.

But the young guests think we're the same person.

Another case in point.  Always wanted to use that phrase.  What does it really mean, anyway?

Going through the cafeteria line tonight, one of the young servers looked at me, and said "Debbie!" 

Sadly, I knew who she meant.  At least Debbie is my height, wears glasses and could sort of kinda look like me. 

We are gradually fading into the background.

We are the Cheshire Cat's smile. 

Just another senior citizen tottering down the highway of life.

Stop me now.

Might as well pack it up for now.  Roomy had a screaming night terror again last night.  Maybe that's it for another few days.  Pray for me.

My nerves are shot. 

There are deep pools here....a person could slip....

The News From West Yellowstone

 It's Wednesday in Yellowstone Park.  That's the news for the day.

I'm stuck, again, in my room, with roomy.

It's only 4:30.

It's drizzling and gloomy.  

This will start soon.

I'd probably use a pillow, not a club, on her.







All I can do is read to you from the West Yellowstone News and hope it amuses you for a few minutes.

The front page story is about a mama grizzly and her four cups.

You can't see much here, but being far away from a mama grizzly is a good thing.













Now that we have the important story out of the way, let's turn to the West Yellowstone police reports.
I am copying these word for word.  I am not taking any creative license here.

I can't help myself.  I gotta add my comments in parentheses. 

*  A caller could not locate their welfare check.  (Look under the empty Moose Drool cans.)
*  Five 800 mg ibuprofen tablets were found.  (Call the guy who lost the welfare check.)
*  Children were not allowed recess at school until the bison in the parking lot was gone.  (The bison ate my
    homework?)
*  A male in his late 70's was reported overdue, getting back late to the hotel.  (Bison in the way?)
*  A big bull bison was reported strolling down Madison Ave.  (He was looking for the male in his late 70's.)
*  A caller reported being bit by a brown weenie dog.  The owner of the dog was located and cited.
    (Only a weenie would report this.)
*  A bison was seen at Hwy 20 and Firehole Ave. headed towards the alley.  (Do bison make drug deals?)
*  The same bison was seen attempting to jump over a fence at the car wash to get to the highway.
    (Pole vaulting?  Bison Olympics?)
*  Dispatch received a call concerning three individuals engaged in disorderly conduct.  They took their      
    fighting outside.  (It's alright to fight outside?)

 You have to love a town that has this kind of news.

The police are armed with nerf guns and water pistols.  Oh, alright, I mean no offense.  I'm sure there is some serious crime in West Yellowstone. Sheriff  Barney Fife and his crew keep things in order.  Sorry again.  I'd better stop now before I hurt anyone's feelings.  Too late?

Let's hope for good weather tomorrow.  The new Montana quarter is coming out and the ceremony is to be held in front of the Old Faithful Inn.  Until then....Judy here reporting the news fit to report from Yellowstone Park.

Lightning Strikes in Yellowstone Park

Yellowstone Park threw in some new weather today.  I had forgotten about hail, but Mother Nature didn't. 

O.K., the hail wasn't this big.

It did pile up, though, in a very short period of time.

The lights dimmed briefly at the Old Faithful Inn, where I was bored out of my mind cheerfully waiting on customers.

We heard later that a guest was walking around the Old Faithful geyser basin and was struck by lightning.  Several people around him felt the effects also. 

There were ambulances and a care flight and I missed it all.

You know that I'm afraid of bears.  Now I'm afraid of lightning.  Worse case scenario...I'm being chased by a bear when a storm blows in and lightning is all around me.  Unless the bear is standing up, ready to attack, and the lightning gets him first, I'm seeing a double calamity.  Death by bear and electrocution. 

Other than the weather drama, it was just another working day at Old Faithful.  I worked the 9:30 to 6:00 shift today. 

You might be thinking that this is really a wonderful job, and I just don't know when I have it off well.  "Off well" is a phrase hubby used one night when he was half asleep and thought he was being profound.  He meant to huffily retort that I didn't know when I had it so well off, and he came out with "off well," and I guess you had to be there.

Let me show you just a small slice of my day.  I get my 35 minute lunch break and stand the rest of the shift.  I have ankles the size of watermelons now.  Here's my trip to lunch.

This is a horrible picture, but somehow reflects the cheer of the Old Faithful Inn.

I walk down this dark dreary hall, where there are guest rooms, by the way.  They should have braille numbers on the doors cause you sure can't see your hand in front of your face.

Or the mice.

Then, I gingerly walk down these steps.

They are much darker than this.

You can see the bottom of the steps in the background.

I walk through some kind of housekeeping area or secret torture chamber rented by the CIA.

I walk out the door to this.

Guest rooms look out on this also.

What charm, what ambiance...what a pile of mud!

I tiptoe through the mud puddles to the entrance of the employee dining room.

Charming so far?

It always looks better in my pictures, but the dining room is trashed.

The really elegant part is the dish area where everyone stacks their trays and dumps their food scraps.

You should thank me that I didn't take any close ups.

Just imagine all of the leftover food dumped into one trash can. 

This is part of the Yellowstone Park weight loss program.  Go in there first before you eat, gag, and run for fresh air.

Just wanted to share in case you were jealous.

It's 8:30 p.m. now, I'm in my cell dorm, roomy is snoring and snorting away, and I have to work at 6:15 in the morning.  What's not to love about this? 

I'm thinking a lot about the movie, "The Shawshank Redemption."  If I start digging a hole now in the wall of my dorm, I could possible escape in a month or two.  Oh that's right!  Hubby is coming to take me away!

Until tomorrow, Judy reporting from Yellowstone Park.

Memorial Day Weekend, Yellowstone Park: Part Three

So here we are, on the third day of Memorial Day Weekend at Yellowstone Park.  I have to work at 2:30.

What do we see in this picture, class?

Is there rain, sleet or snow?  No!  We have blue sunny Wyoming skies with moderate temperatures.

I'm not going to dwell this. I'm pouting, though, which isn't pretty on a woman my age.

I did go out this morning to try out my new Lands' End walking shoes.  I walked around the Old Faithful geyser basin area for a couple of miles and they passed the test.

I hadn't seen this geyser yet.  It's called the Grotto Geyser and I thought it was quite spectacular.

Another fantastic thing is that the tourists aren't out in the morning.  I walked in relative solitude.

Just me, the birds, the bears hiding in the woods, and the bubbling noises from the pools and geysers.

The Old Faithful Inn was looking quite attractive in the distance.

Breakfast was even good this morning.  You won't hear this from me often about the employee dining room.

They made breakfast sandwiches with croissants, ham, cheese, and real eggs. The yolk was just right and the cheese was melted.  Who stole our cooks and brought in McDonald's employees?  I could get used to this, but I'm not delusional.

Now, for disjointed thoughts in no particular order.

This thought kept me awake the other night.  My dorm room is a lot like being in a nursing home,.  It smells funny, my room mate keeps me awake at night, I have a single bed, there are strange noises in the hall, and the food is marginal.  At least I can still bathe myself.

David at Yellowstone Traders told me that quite a few tourists every season get care flighted out of here with heart attacks.  Listen up.  If you have breathing problems or heart problems, this may not be the place for you.  The elevation gets up to 8,000 feet in Yellowstone Park. Talk to your doctor first.  And don't try to act all macho on the trails.  You can wear the cool hiking clothes and muddy up your shoes...no one will know the difference.  Also, don't forget your medicine.  Everything is 2 1/2 hours away here.  Really.  No running to Rite Aide or Wal-Mart.

Why is it that the weirdest employees at Old Faithful live in my dorm?  The foreign guy with the finger puppets lives here.  I will get his picture.

Time for me to go, so like the pig said...."That's all folks!"

Memorial Day Weekend, Yellowstone Park: Part Two

I woke up this morning...eager to have another whole day off in Yellowstone Park.

Wait, wait, open the blinds slowly.

Does the wet cat give you a clue?  Back to rain, sleet and snow.

I lounged with roomy until she got ready for work and decided that I was going somewhere no matter what the weather.

So back to West Yellowstone to visit with David Barnes, the owner of Yellowstone Traders.

He had offered me a job at one time (that was before he got to know me better) and I wanted to see how he was doing.

Did I mention that it was cold and rainy?  Guess I did.

Here's David holding up one of his beautiful buffalo hides.

I hope that's what it is.  It sure looks better in his store than on the buffalo.

I can just picture a roaring fire, a buffalo hide on the floor, useless lap kitty barfing in the middle of it...kitty is ruining the image.

And there are more hides, like cow and alpaca and who knows what else.

Fortunately, David doesn't do this himself.  There are no bloody tracks to the back room.

It's an attractive, clean, blood free store.

He also has fantastic bison leather computer bags and purses.

Hubby will like this because they have compartments for guns.

It is the west...danger lurks around every corner.

For the gentler soul, there are buffalo teddy bears and furry pillows and all kinds of unique items for the West Yellowstone visitor.

O.K., David, that's my advertisement.  I really do like the store and I certainly like the company.  Check out David's website at http://www.yellowstonetraders.com/.

Also check out his blog.  You'll get a feel for what it is like to live right outside the gates of Yellowstone Park.

I have to add that David is originally from St. Louis, Missouri.  He had a nice respectable job at Anheuser-Busch in the digital marketing IT department.  He got caught in some huge layoffs and decided to shake his life up.  He found this business for sale on Craig's List.

Mama Barnes was not happy with the move to the middle or the end of nowhere.  I guess the moral is, don't let your son look at Craig's List.

West Yellowstone has a slew or herd or something of bison statues, decorated in a variety of ways.

Of course, I found the one fish and it was too cold and rainy (I have mentioned the weather, right?) to photograph the bison, so you're stuck with a fish.

Back home in Ohio in the town of Beavercreek, they have painted beavers.

I'm not saying anymore about the topic.

Here is the Ho-Hum Motel.  Rumor has it that a lot of the indigent end up there.

There is even a fund to help put them up.

Now I know where all of the Yellowstone employees go when they get fired.




 

Here I am going through the gate, back to Yellowstone Park.

See the rain?  The cold, cold, rain?

I decided to walk around Old Faithful, just to get a little exercise, and this is what I have to put up with now.

Tourists walking slowly, tourists acting badly,  tourists talking on cell phones, tourists messing with my quiet time.

I thought you needed one more picture of steaming, bubbling things.

I stopped by the Old Faithful Inn to pick up roomy for dinner.

She's the one on the left. 

Have you noticed how dark it is in there?

I'm getting one of those head lamp things that miners wear.  Think it would be against the dress code?

Around 7:00 tonight, the weather cleared up.  The rappers are outside my window playing their favorite tunes.

Did I mention more than once that it rained the two days I was off?  I go to work at 2:30 tomorrow, so technically, I still have some time left.  Stay tuned for Memorial Day Weekend adventures, Part Three.  There may be sun.

Memorial Day Weekend, Yellowstone Park: Part One

And now for the highlights from Judy's day off in Yellowstone Park, Part One:  The Start of Memorial Day Weekend.  Pretty heady stuff, wouldn't you say?

First, the bad news.  It's raining, snowing, sleeting, raining, snowing, sleeting....it's hard to keep track of the weather here.  If you are cooking out in your shorts, don't even bother to tell me about it.

The good news is that I am not a tourist who has invested a thousand dollars in a trip of a lifetime.  The roads were closed this morning, and the way things are looking, there are going to be some unhappy travelers tonight.

I started out the morning with a nasty gourmet breakfast at the employee dining room (English muffin with peanut butter and some toast.)   It seemed the safest option.

I ran into one of the women who conducts tours of the Old Faithful Inn.  She gives the history of the building several times a day.  She told me about an author, C.J. Box (real name?) who wrote a mystery, called "Free Fire," based in Yellowstone Park.

Kind of looks like a country/western singer, don't you think?

The hat is probably hiding a bald spot.

I bought the book at the gift shop, and will let you know how it goes.

The Yellow Buses are back!  These tour buses were in the Park from the 30's to the 50's.  They were sold when tourists fell in love with their own cars and the demand went down for their services.

In 2007, Yellowstone Park bought them back, refurbished them and they are popular again.  That's why you should have hung onto your poodle skirts and saddle shoes.  Old always becomes new again.

If you want to know more about them, check out this site, http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-4661-National-Parks-Travel-Examiner~y2009m5d10-Yellowstone-National-Parktake-a-yellow-bus-tour.

As I was wandering around outside, I ran into a sweet couple in their 70's from Pennsylvania.  Richard and Helen were looking for the web cam so they could wave to the folks back home.  Being the guest services person that I am, pat self on the back, I walked them to Old Faithful and pointed out the cameras perched on a tree.

They insisted that I wave to their family with them.  We went back into the Old Faithful Inn and chatted for a while.  I now know about their cancer surgeries, all of their children and their political orientation.  They wanted me to hike with them, but I had plans to head into West Yellowstone.  It is amazing how you can bond with perfect strangers.

The Governor of Wyoming, Dave Freudenthal, was staying at the Old Faithful Inn.

As I was talking to my sweet friends, he passed through with a film crew.  He was appropriately dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans.

Grizzly son and I decided that this wasn't a big deal as only about a hundred people actually live in Wyoming. 

It would seem that anybody could be governor of Wyoming if they really wanted to.  Maybe the citizens of the state just rotate the job every few weeks or so. 

Grizzly's girlfriend and I took off for West Yellowstone after lunch.

Something new is going on now in the Park.

It is fly fishing season. 

I didn't see any of them actually catch a fish, but they were having a good time in their expensive gear, standing in the middle of a freezing river.

I hope they can move fast in those waders when the bison take their afternoon stroll through the area.

Of course we saw more bison on the way...nothing new or exciting, but the drama is building now that there are thousands of tourists in the Park.

These smarty pants were standing right next to a mother and her calf.  The Park ranger was walking the opposite way from this scene.

He was probably going to his car to call the ambulance ahead of time. 

West Yellowstone was jumping, even in the rain.

Just like every other tourist town, you can buy t-shirts, hats, key chains, stuffed bison toys, and over priced jewelry. 

We looked but didn't buy.  Remember, we earn minimum wage.


West Yellowstone even has a summer theater, called the Play Mill.

A windmill in Yellowstone?  Could there have been a more appropriate choice?  How about the Bison Poo Players or Theater in the Poo? 

Couldn't resist a poo reference.

My real mission was to find a room for me and the hubby when he comes to rescue me in June.

The prices are incredibly high for the summer, but I decided on The Hibernation Station.  If I have to pay a mountain of money to sleep in a bed, it had to be here.

That's a statue of elk in the front.

Look at these adorable cabins with tepees on the top.

Who needs the Holiday Inn when you can have some atmosphere?

This is a picture of one of the rooms, taken from their website.

It sure isn't dormitory living. 

I can't wait to live like an adult again.  The earplugs at night are really starting to irritate me.

They are necessary to drown out the roomie's snoring and the drunks outside my window.

Last night, roomie screamed so loud in her sleep, she woke herself up.  She was dreaming that a wolf was ripping the throat out of a dog.  She needs some long counseling sessions.

Tonight may call for a pub visit.  I hear a Moose Drool calling my name.

Stay tuned for Part Two of Memorial Day weekend....same time, same place.

Post Cards From Yellowstone Park

I'm going to whine just a teeny bit about working in Yellowstone Park.  Don't judge me.  Don't turn away.  This is therapeutic for me.

First of all, it is raining, which means by the morning, it will be snow.

I have tomorrow off.

If the roads are passable, a phrase I never expected to say at the end of May, I'm going back to West Yellowstone to poke around.

This is the state of my affairs....a hole in my sock.

Roomie's socks still look pretty good.

Maybe I'll cut holes in them while she sleeps.

I'm feeling spiteful.  The snoring has pushed me to the edge of a dangerous cliff.

Remember my friend, Susan?  The one who said good bye to Yellowstone?

I called her tonight.  She's lounging on the beach in Biloxi.  She's going gambling later.

She thinks I should run away soon before the bears get me or before I go postal on someone.

Sniff, whine.

O.K., thanks for hanging in there.  I'm finished.

Now for some Yellowstone history.  Here are some real post cards from the 1900s.

This prim lady is spending quality time in one of the original rooms at the Old Faithful Inn.

The room still looks like this and I am as serious as a Sunday sermon.

The great great great grandchildren of the mice in this room are still there.  And again, I am serious.

This picture from the late 1800's shows tourists at a bear feed.

I'm wondering how many of them made it back to camp with all of their limbs attached.

There was a geyser water swimming pool around 1914.  Water was pumped in from one of the geysers.

The life guard sat on a 25 foot tower and swung from a rope, Tarzan style, to reach the other end of the pool.

Employee housing was in there also.  I'm sure it was damp, hot and noisy.  Nothing has changed.

Starting in the late 1890's, employees entertained guests at night around the campfire.

Don't even go there....I will draw a line in the sand.

They even made up cute camp songs.  This one was to the tune of O' My Darling Clementine.

There's a camp up in the mountains

With the fir trees all about.

Years ago they named it Faithful,

It's the best without a doubt.

Cheer for Faithful, cheer for Faithful.

She's the finest of them all.

Here we live just like a savage,

From the Spring until the Fall.

At least we're not savages anymore.

Well, it's time for me and my rubber chicken to say good night.

Don't worry, hubby.  I'll try to clean up some before you come to take me away from Yellowstone.