Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The News From West Yellowstone

 It's Wednesday in Yellowstone Park.  That's the news for the day.

I'm stuck, again, in my room, with roomy.

It's only 4:30.

It's drizzling and gloomy.  
This will start soon.

I'd probably use a pillow, not a club, on her.

All I can do is read to you from the West Yellowstone News and hope it amuses you for a few minutes.

The front page story is about a mama grizzly and her four cups.

You can't see much here, but being far away from a mama grizzly is a good thing.

Now that we have the important story out of the way, let's turn to the West Yellowstone police reports.
I am copying these word for word.  I am not taking any creative license here.

I can't help myself.  I gotta add my comments in parentheses. 

*  A caller could not locate their welfare check.  (Look under the empty Moose Drool cans.)
*  Five 800 mg ibuprofen tablets were found.  (Call the guy who lost the welfare check.)
*  Children were not allowed recess at school until the bison in the parking lot was gone.  (The bison ate my
*  A male in his late 70's was reported overdue, getting back late to the hotel.  (Bison in the way?)
*  A big bull bison was reported strolling down Madison Ave.  (He was looking for the male in his late 70's.)
*  A caller reported being bit by a brown weenie dog.  The owner of the dog was located and cited.
    (Only a weenie would report this.)
*  A bison was seen at Hwy 20 and Firehole Ave. headed towards the alley.  (Do bison make drug deals?)
*  The same bison was seen attempting to jump over a fence at the car wash to get to the highway.
    (Pole vaulting?  Bison Olympics?)
*  Dispatch received a call concerning three individuals engaged in disorderly conduct.  They took their      
    fighting outside.  (It's alright to fight outside?)

 You have to love a town that has this kind of news.

The police are armed with nerf guns and water pistols.  Oh, alright, I mean no offense.  I'm sure there is some serious crime in West Yellowstone. Sheriff  Barney Fife and his crew keep things in order.  Sorry again.  I'd better stop now before I hurt anyone's feelings.  Too late?

Let's hope for good weather tomorrow.  The new Montana quarter is coming out and the ceremony is to be held in front of the Old Faithful Inn.  Until then....Judy here reporting the news fit to report from Yellowstone Park.


CherylK said...

Oh my gosh, this is hilarious! Talk about laughing out loud...that's me you hear! So how much longer is your "sentence"? Joking, joking...

darlin said...

LOL that is hilarious! On a positive not at least it's not murders, sex offenders or any other types of violent crimes reported!

Next weeks headline...
Retired social worker turned desk clerk smothers roommate because of her snoring. :-)

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