Friday, May 7, 2010

Let Me Out of Yellowstone National Park

I've hit a wall in my big adventure.  I don't want to be in Yellowstone Park.  I want to go home.  I can't stand the sight of my roommate. If she talks to herself one more time, I'll punch her in the face.  I have a cold.  Yellowstone is not in my blood.  Why does everyone love this place?  It's nothing but trees and snow and bison turds.

Does everyone understand where I'm at right now?  Not a good place.  Something good better happen today or the Mitsubishi is hitting the long trail home.

The hubby is encouraging me to stay.  Why not?  He has the house to himself.  The wife isn't there to give him the evil eye while he piles mail, empty mugs, and assorted garbage around his chair.  Fifteen or twenty minutes of conversation a day is all he has to put up with before he can go back to what he likes to do....watching war movies and sleeping in his recliner.

I miss my back yard.  I miss sleeping in my own bed.  I even miss useless lap kitty.  I promise that if I can go home, I will clean and cook and be a good girl.  Shit.  Who am I kidding?  That would last a day tops.  If I go home, I have to find a job.  I have to tell everyone why I didn't make it six months.  It would be like signing up for the military.  The family gives you a party.  Your friends slap you on the back.  There are flags and cheering and tearful good-byes.  Then you creep home six weeks later.  You've been kicked out of the Army.  You weren't good enough.  You couldn't make it through training.  Everyone knows you are a loser.  Big "L" on your forehead.  Even the guy who bags groceries and can't tie his own shoes knows you're a loser.

Maybe I could get a job at the Super 8 Motel in Gardiner.  I hear they give you a motel room to live in.  That wouldn't be so bad.  I wouldn't have a room mate.  It can't be as high pressure as this.  I could pretend to be working in Yellowstone Park.  Heck, I'd only be a quarter mile from the north gate.  You can find all the information you need about the park on the internet.  You all wouldn't know.

I could make a few friends.  Other losers like myself who have no place to go and no one who cares where they are.  We could become family.  Spend the holidays together over microwaved meals and cheap screw top wine.  It could be fun.  There could be plenty of material there for a book.  It might make a good movie.  Who could play my part?  Older movie stars are dying for good rolls.  Sally Fields isn't tall enough.  Maybe Candace Bergen.

8 hours later.

The first day at the Old Faithful Inn wasn't bad.  I checked in people without causing my managers to gather in the corner to point and stare at me. 

They were so happy with me, I got to go home early to let other people work who needed more practice.  At least that's what they said.

Maybe they just wanted to get rid of me before the rush hit.

No, I'm going with the smiley face version that I did fine, that they love me, and that I'm the best darn front desk person they have ever had.  At least the best front desk person that $7.75 an hour can buy.

So, I'm still here.  I haven't packed the car.  I'll go back to work tomorrow.

I'm wearing ear plugs to bed to drown out the room mate and the kids walking past my dorm from the employee pub.  That's another story for another day. 


darlin said...

I don't mean to laugh and I didn't have to tell you I am laughing but you were brutally honest so I figure I should be as well! Yup still laughing! You are hilarious Judy! You're going to make your six months, I can't see you quitting now, you've came this far, why quit before now before the fun really starts. Like don't you want stick around to find out who is going to go out with whom, will they leave together or is it going to be a short romance? Will anyone get fired? Will your children break down and come and confide in you? You have so much to find out... you CAN'T leave! lol

Have fun! And yes I am going to laugh all the way to bed... good night Judy! :-)

Scott said...

You can't quite, where would we go for our daily laugh??? Besides I am planning to bring my wife up after school starts again to see bison poop and meet you in person. When it comes time to go home next fall you'll be giving your roomy and many other friends big hugs and driving down the road having a hard time seeing where your going because of the tears in your eyes. Have fun, and I hope to see you in person in September.

Pat said...

I think someone's experiencing home withdrawal. Hang in there, Judy. I'll echo what Scott said, come time to go home you'll be leaving with a great deal of sadness. I can say that having been in a situation very similar to what you're going through right now.

We'll see you on June 21st. BTW, we just made our reservation to get up to the Crow's Nest that evening as well. Looking forward to that.

Judy said...

O.K., I'll stick it out. I want to meet Scott and his wife. I want to be a winner, not a loser. I'll try. Send happy thoughts. Send money. Send food. It's all good.

Teresa said...

Judy... my friend, your Ruby Red Slippers are hidden away somewhere. Remember?... but I don't think you need them. But it is an Ace in the pocket, so to speak. You will be fine... "All is well", my Friend! Reading your blog, and looking at your pictures... and most of all... reading between the lines.... makes me SO MOTIVATED!!!!!!! You go girl!!!!!!

Just take a moment to look what you are leaving behind you!!! It is going to be "AMAZING"!!

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